There Are Times When It’s Simply Best to Forgive and Forget
To succeed as a Financial Advisor, one has to accept that disappointment is inevitable. We don’t always get what we want. Disappointment breeds frustration. Negative emotions are unavoidable, yet they must be controlled. We’re in the business of controlling the emotions of others. We can’t do that well until we have control of our own emotions.
I think the best way to deal with disappointment is to put it in perspective.
The next time someone or something angers you, rejects you or hurts you, just think of that moment as a temporary roadblock on your way to your desired outcome.
As a Financial Advisor, you are in a profession with nothing but upside. People are living longer than ever and pensions are rapidly becoming a thing of the past. That alone makes your advice more important than ever. What you do will be in demand for the rest of your career. A bump in the road is a small price to pay. You are in a great place in life.
My friend Mark, an Advisor in Canada, calls being an Advisor the toughest easy job in the world.
As tough as this job can be, we are not digging ditches in clay in the rain in November. The Advisor who just does okay makes more than ninety-five percent of the world’s population. The lifestyle we lead offsets the occasional frustrating moment.
Just because a situation is frustrating, you don’t have to become frustrated.
You probably don’t have time for therapy, so I suggest you forgive, forget and move on. If the line at Starbuck’s is too long, go somewhere else. If a prospective client chooses a competitor over you, ask him why. And then get better.
We’ve all been around people who refuse to forgive and forget. It’s not pretty. Don’t be that guy.
A key part of forgiving and forgetting is to understand that setbacks are not failures.
Life is trial and error. If you make a mistake and learn from it, the mistake was worth it. If you didn’t get the new account because you aren’t that great at closing, don’t bemoan your shortcomings. Get a mentor to show you how to close better. If you think you are right on the money and still don’t get the business, find out why. If you have a lousy month, make sure you don’t have a lousy quarter.
I don’t suggest you forgive and forget simply because that’s what we should do.
The reason runs far deeper than that. People who don’t forgive and forget get angry. They pout. They give up. They lose confidence. They get depressed. And they eventually fall to the wayside, all the while telling all who will listen that the world isn’t fair. This business is hard enough without the distractions.
Success is out there for you, but you’ve got to meet it halfway.
You’ve got to work hard and you’ve got to focus. You’ve got to be positive and you’ve got to have a plan. You’ve got to reject anger, resentment and depression.
When life sets up a roadblock, you’ve got to go over it, under it or around it. You can’t afford to be blindsided by negative emotions. Hardly a day will go by that you won’t get your heart broken in this business. Forgive the transgressor, forget the moment and keep moving toward your goals.
For the record, I’ve never met a successful pessimist in my life.
